We are on the dawn of the holiday season and most if not all of us are thinking of family and gathering in the spirit of the season. We also think of those who will not be with us this holiday season, rather they will be serving abroad protecting the freedoms and values that allow us to assemble our loved ones together for the holidays.

    This article is mainly geared towards the parents that have young ones at home and have to explain why daddy or mommy won't be home for the holidays and how to help them cope with a loved one not being home. However, this may also be helpful for anyone who has a relative or a friend stationed elsewhere other than home.

    First off, visit the base's family resource center. Most bases should have an office like this. Its goal is to provide support to families who have loved ones attached to a unit on the base deal with life without them at home. During the holiday season, their role becomes increasingly important and usually has someone to talk to there about anything and will hold get-togethers and various activities to unite military families during the holiday season. So pay them a visit to see what they're up to.

     As for explaining to a young child why mommy or daddy won't be home for the holidays, kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Listen to what kind of questions they ask, that should give you an indication of how much they know about the situation. Gear your answers towards positive thoughts, like mommy or daddy have a job to do and it is their job to make sure the world is safe for all of us, and emphasize that they will be returning soon and all will be well shortly. If they have very specific questions, use some tact and answer them on a need-to-know basis.

    For children, missing parents is always hard no matter how long the time duration is. That is why it is important to make contact with your troops during the holidays. Some may not be accessible for security reasons, but if their base allows it, send a postcard or a care package. Make sure to include an up to date picture of the family and a message of support and encouragement. If you are allowed to send an actual package, include a little piece of home in it like an audio tape with a voice message, or video postcard. Don't be discouraged if you don't get a reply back or a phone call over the holidays. Sometimes just sending something out puts you in a better state of mind.

    For those who just want to let all of the troops know they are in the thoughts and hearts of those back home, send a general postcard of support and encouragement. However, rather than addressing it to a specific person, address it to: "Any soldier" or troops of the (whatever unit you want it addressed to). The base postal service will usually have a forwarding address depending on where the unit is deployed.

    Finally, and I guess this would be geared towards the older audience that is less naïve than a child is: Remember that each soldier/sailor/airman enlisted knowing what risk his or her job entails. I'm sure each of them wishes they were home, but also know the importance of their duty to their country which makes them keep soldiering on. It would greatly relieve them knowing they have the full support of their family and friends back home. It makes the tour of duty less unbearable knowing all is well at home and that they can concentrate on doing their jobs and returning safely.

Jason D., A TAO Counselor

source: www.teenadviceonline.org