"Learning to Love Myself" by Vivian N.

    Loving myself. Some of you are probably wondering how difficult this can be. Surprising, for most people, this is a very tough issue. We tend to treat ourselves very badly at the expense of others.

    How often have we drowned ourselves in alcohol?
    How often do we find ourselves doing favours for others even when we are up to our necks in work?
    How often have you lost loved ones because of drugs?
    How about hit and run accidents?
    How about cutting? Anexoria? Bulimia?

    I could just go on and on about how people abuse themselves. I am sure that anyone reading this could easily think of a dozen to add to the list.

    For someone who grew up not really knowing what love is, it is harder than ever to love yourself. I don't want to turn this into some kind of self-pity sob story. The truth is, there are so many people out there who grew up being abused, physically, emotionally or mentally.

    Week after week, I sit at my desk answering TAO help submissions. Does it even amaze anyone that at least 70% of people who wrote in for help are suffering from some form of depression? I used to be a very negative person and I do believe that negativity begats depression.

    Thankfully in my situation, I found love before depression or any other tragedy hit. It never ceased to amaze me how God has kept me safe all this while. Even as I looked back in my life, I could remember incidents so painful that suicide was a "Sweet release". I could even remember days when I just wanted to throw myself out in front of oncoming traffic. I remember going through the entire phase of "Life just isn't worth all this". I remember incidents where I was almost beaten up by gangsters. I remember feeling so sad that I think my heart would stop beating.

    Most of all, I remember how touched I was to know that God loves me, even when my parents don't or cant. I remember that He loved me so much that He sent His only son to die for me.

    Me, someone who's own family has rejected.

    Me, someone who's mum has abandoned her.

    Most of all, me, someone whom God loved deeply.

    Is that enough? Yes, I think so. Just knowing that, I can now learn to love myself bit by bit even though I was told that I wasn't worth it by the very people who brought me into this world. But God is powerful and His love is enough for me.

    Learn to love yourself. You are worth it! Remember, even when the world has abandoned you, God loves you and will always be there for you.

    "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not die but have everlasting life". John 3:16

Vivian N.

source: www.teenadviceonline.org